Requiem for Someone Once Alive

I attended a memorial service this past week. I am not a fan of memorial services, or anything related to the observation of one’s death.  The one thing I took away from the service was how people’s opinions and thoughts of this person at this time seem to be in direct contrast to what they were when this person was alive.

I know we have all been told not to speak ill of the dead. But what if that is all there is to be said? How does one sugar coat that?

I also realized that there are important things I wanted my children to know regarding what I wanted at the end of my life.  Certainly, no memorial service, no family night, no graveside gathering.  I want none of that. I want one and all to gather together, share some food, good wine, talk about me – good or bad – I just want it to be real as my life was real.  I’ve been good, I’ve been bad, I don’t know if I will be in a better place and if it be heaven or hell.  At times I think hell would be better than the life I have lived through. But I have had an interesting life to be sure, just don’t sugar coat it.

I just wish the phoniness would end.